a volunteer hospice organization established 1977
a volunteer hospice organization established 1977
Our Center's Namesake
Dorothy D. Rupe
Our Mission
Hospice of San Luis Obispo County, committed to the dignity of the human experience, provides volunteer support, education, and counseling to those living with life threatening or terminal illness, their families, and the bereaved.
Locations
Hospice San Luis Obispo
1304 Pacific Street
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
Phone: 805.544.2266
Street Map
Hospice Paso Robles
1345 Oak Street
Paso Robles, CA 93446
Phone: 805.434.1164
Street Map
Hours
San Luis Obispo
Monday - Friday
8:30 AM - 4:30 PM
Paso Robles
by Appointment
Hospice Links:
Community Links:
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Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief
Probably the most famous formulation of the stages of grief was developed by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book "On Death and Dying". Dr. Kubler-Ross actually wrote about the stages that dying people tend to go through as they come to terms with the realization that they will soon be dead. Her view of stages has been useful in understanding the process in working through grieving a death and in understanding losses in general. Not everyone will experience all of these stages, or, if all are experienced, they won't necessarily occur in this particular order, and they have a tendency to overlap.
Kubler-Ross' first stage is Denial (Shock, Numbness, Disbelief -"It can't be happening."). In this stage, grieving people are unable or unwilling to accept that the loss has taken place. It can feel as though they are experiencing a bad dream, that the loss is unreal, and they are waiting to "wake up" as though from a dream, expecting that things will be normal.
In the second stage they may begin to feel Anger ("Why me? It's not fair.") They may become angry at the person who has been lost or at someone else they feel is somehow responsible. Feelings of abandonment may also occur. This is often a difficult process since it usually requires being able to feel both caring/love and anger at the same time.
Bargaining (Regret, Guilt - “if only I had…”) often begins next. At times, individuals may ruminate about what could have been done to prevent the loss, and become preoccupied about ways that things could have been better, imagining all the things that will never be. People may also blame themselves and feel guilty for having caused or in some way contributed to their loss, whether or not this is justified.
People may then sink into a Depression ("I'm so sad, why bother with anything?") stage where they confront the inevitability and reality of the loss and their own helplessness to change it. During this period, grieving people may cry, experience sleep or eating habit changes, or withdraw from other relationships and activities while they process the loss they have sustained. These feeling are often a necessary part of the process, but if they persist, a Doctor’s evaluation might be indicated.
People enter a stage of Acceptance ("It's going to be OK.") where they have processed their initial grief emotions, are able to accept that the loss has occurred and cannot be undone, and are once again able to plan for their futures and re-engage in daily life. Although it was originally seen as the final stage, research has shown that acceptance actually starts early and often grows slowly during the whole grieving process.
Getting Stuck is a common problem with the above stages in that some people can’t seem to get past one of the stages and can sometimes go in seemingly endless cycles of the stages. Thus a person may become stuck in denial, never moving on from the position of not accepting the inevitable future. When it happens, they still keep on denying it, such as the person who has lost their job still going into the city only to sit on a park bench all day. Another example is that the person may feel that anger, but may then repress it, bottling it up inside. Likewise, a person may be stuck in permanent anger or repeated bargaining. Getting stuck in depression is perhaps a more common ailment. Other problems that can come up during grief are where there was a complicated relationship with the person who died, grief that is carried over from prior losses, and where suicide or an accidental sudden death is involved.If you need help coping with a loss, caring for a seriously ill loved one, or dealing with your own mortality, please call us at 805.544.2266 or 805.434.1164. We're here to help.