a volunteer hospice organization established 1977
a volunteer hospice organization established 1977
Our Center's Namesake
Dorothy D. Rupe
Our Mission
Hospice of San Luis Obispo County, committed to the dignity of the human experience, provides volunteer support, education, and counseling to those living with life threatening or terminal illness, their families, and the bereaved.
Locations
Hospice San Luis Obispo
1304 Pacific Street
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
Phone: 805.544.2266
Street Map
Hospice Paso Robles
1345 Oak Street
Paso Robles, CA 93446
Phone: 805.434.1164
Street Map
Hours
San Luis Obispo
Monday - Friday
8:30 AM - 4:30 PM
Paso Robles
by Appointment
Hospice Links:
Community Links:
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Children and Grief
When someone dies, children react differently from adults. Preschool children usually see death as temporary and reversible, a belief reinforced by cartoon characters that die and come to life again. Children between five and nine begin to think more like adults about death, yet they still believe it will never happen to them or anyone they know.
Adding to a child's shock and confusion at the death of a family member is the unavailability of other family members, who may be so shaken by grief that they are not able to cope with the normal responsibility of childcare. Trying to maintain a familiar daily routine is very important to children who are grieving.
Parents should be aware of normal childhood responses to a death, as well as signs when a child is having difficulty coping with grief. It is normal during the weeks following the death for some children to feel immediate grief or persist in the belief that the deceased is still alive. However, long-term denial of the death or avoidance of grief can be emotionally unhealthy and can later lead to more severe problems.
A child who is frightened about attending a funeral should not be forced to go; however, honoring or remembering the person in some way, such as lighting a candle, saying a prayer, making a scrapbook, reviewing photographs, or telling a story may be helpful. Children should be allowed to express feelings about their loss and grief in their own way.
Once children accept the death, they are likely to display their feelings of sadness on and off over a long period of time, and often at unexpected moments. Parents should spend as much time as possible with the child, making it clear that the child has permission to show his or her feelings openly or freely.
The person who has died was essential to the stability of the child's world, and anger is a natural reaction. The anger may be revealed in boisterous play, nightmares, irritability, or a variety of other behaviors. Often the child will show anger towards others.
In response to a death, many children will act younger than they are. The child may temporarily become more infantile; demand food, attention and cuddling; and talk baby talk. Younger children frequently believe they are the cause of what happens around them. A young child may believe a parent, grandparent, brother, or sister died because he or she had once wished the person dead when they were angry. The child feels guilty or blames him or herself because the wish came true.
Children who are having serious problems with grief and loss may show one or more of these signs:
- an extended period of depression in which the child loses interest in daily activities and events
- inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear of being alone
- acting much younger for an extended period
- excessively imitating the dead person
- repeated statements of wanting to join the dead person
- withdrawal from friends, or
- sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend school
If these signs persist, professional help may be needed. A qualified mental health professional can help the child accept the death and assist the others in helping the child through the mourning process. (American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry)
If you need help coping with a loss, caring for a seriously ill loved one, or dealing with your own mortality, please call us at 805.544.2266 or 805.434.1164. We're here to help.